object permanence

outside his road and closing the door behind me

is when i realize what object permanence really means,

that things continue to exist even when

they cannot be observed             & this is when I remember

that his staircase does not disappear

when I am not walking down his staircase

in yesterday’s clothes thinking anyone can do

anything they want to             and by anyone of course

I mean me             that when I run my hands under cold

cleansing water             turn my mind to something other

than you             you are still out there, somewhere,

turning time zones in your sleep, full fleshed & doe eyed

all of yesterday as yet unfiltered

by the light of recollection

I want to believe in the myth of a forever

sunflowers twisting continuously in time and space

laughter spanning not only future positions

but you in every sense of my now

yet standing at the point at which you have

taken your leave             there is a vanishing

of continuity             we do not always remember

and now there are clouds stiffening in my eyes

a surprise             something to remember

after all             each disappearance then,

an annihilation             each reappearance,

another resurrection

Natalie Chin (b. 1992) grew up in Singapore and lives in London. She is the Literary Editor of Galavant Magazine and can be found online here: http://herbonestructure.com or here: http://twitter.com/herbonestrcture