Kenji Khozoei

the sound of ~30 people crying in a small room after experiencing something really profound and ‘transcendent’ or something

 

i’m on a bus and the world feels infinitely beautiful and infinitely sad

someone in front of me is playing a ukulele and someone else is singing a song i think i remember from a previous life

when enough people talk at once it sounds like what i think space would sound like if space sounded like anything

the clouds outside are grey and everywhere and look like so much more than they’ve ever been

like you know how sometimes the clouds just feel so much more real

like so much more there or something

like if we were outside we’d feel their weight in the wind

i think

i don’t know

i don’t know many things

but i know every time i start writing something about feeling small and afraid i need to remember it’s okay to feel these things

it’s okay to feel this much

it’s okay

sometimes the simple and obvious things are the most important things to remember

we can always be more than we are but we don’t need to be anything more than we are right now

and now it is raining

the drops dragging down against the window like they’re in a rush

and i’m imagining what a bus on a highway would look like to a drop of rain as it falls

i’m imagining what it would sound like if everyone on this bus was crying very loudly at the same time

i think i’m starting to understand what it means to have capacity

capacity to be and to know and to love

i don’t think we ever learn anything or create anything

we just realize and recognize things into reality

everyone can create something beautiful with their lives

and if you don’t believe me then just bury me in the rain

bury me in the rain and wait and see what happens

just wait and see

the other day i let myself feel sad because sometimes the sadness feels warmer

that evening i was walking with someone as the sun was setting and i stopped and pointed at the clouds and said ‘look’

and they stopped and said ‘i know’

and it felt infinitely beautiful

and it felt infinitely sad

 

 

 

Kenji Khozoei has been alive since 1994 and lives in Sydney, Australia. He is indefinitely working on his first collection of poetry, ‘Everywhere Are Green Icebergs’, which will be released in the next few months/years. He writes a lot of sentences on the Internet and will probably accept your friend request.

 

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