John Mortara




i apologize in advance of this poem / i have been dreaming a lot lately

but i’m just gonna say it

the ‘if you love them then let them go’ cliché needs to end right here and right now

i’m looking at you / band called ‘Passenger’

you are always on the radio when i’m trying to let go whilst obviously not letting go

and why do i always write about the stars as metaphors for me needing to leave someone

that’s a rhetorical question

i have some pretty obvious theories with regards to stars and why we can’t be together

so hello new universe

hi i’m john

this is the dating profile i do not even want because my heart is light years away from here so i apologize in advance

i ride my bicycle all aimless when i’m upset with myself

i like long walks on the beach

directly into the bottom of the ocean

i would say my sexual identity is

uncertainty principle in the streets / heat death of the universe in the sheets

sooner or later everything will become water

my ideal date is the two of us

on a romantic evening

looking at the stars

thinking about how

if we could only touch

those beautiful lights

we’d both burst into flames immediately

i definitely had a dream about that recently so i apologize again

the problem with accomplishing your dreams is that eventually you will run out of dreams

i’m trying to get a handle on the balance of waking and sleep

so i apologize in advance of my inevitable stellar implosion

when you get too close to black holes you get all bent and stretched and it’s called ‘spaghettification’ which is ridiculous

i’m sorry i am stretching this out until we finally rip

it’s too delicious to stop

and all the songs i’ve been listening to remind me of outer space

and outer space always reminds me of kissing you

not just sounds-like

but smells-like

it’s the ozone smell of rain and kissing you

it’s old book smell and kissing you

sweaty basement punk show smell and kissing you

the christmas tree has been up for so long that it’s definitely a fire hazard smell

and kissing you

your jacket reeks of pall malls and i missed that smell and kissing you

even those memories on their own make my skin feel like all the butterflies in the world suddenly replaced by similarly-sized rocks

i apologize again / this time / in retrograde

i have been dreaming a lot lately

i leave my curtains open and when the morning sun wakes me i always mistake it for you

i am trying to hold my horses because i don’t know the destination

there’s this dream i keep having wherein you tell me to hold my horses

hold all of your horses, you say hold your horses close




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