Oliver Mol & Lucy Waddington

I Used 2 Want 2 Fall In Love Now I Just Want 2 Be Punched In The Face



u know how the best thing about love is like ppl being unimaginably cruel to one another because of “ownership” and “sex” and “exclusivity” jk but not really lol


almost feel if u pictorially graphed the difference between the idea of a relationship and what most relationships are u would have like a pterodactyl bird with one focus point on the left side of its 12 metre wingspan and another focus point on the right side of its 12 metre wingspan and the pterodactyl would be flying directly into and then dying⎯in a “burning way”⎯ beneath a meteorite


we’ve got to b better we can b better we’ve got 2 b cute


imagine if we made the graph together n like coloured it in heaps nice w expensive pencils from ur university then pissed on it


like if we put the pterodactyl bird graph into a toilet would u sit on the toilet and pee while making a space between ur legs so that i could pee onto the pterodactyl bird graph at the same time?


i would say, “is this an activity you would like to do with me?” and if u said, “yes, hehe” i would say, “hehe” too


i would try v hard not to pee on u because 1 thing i am doing in 2015 is trying v hard w everything i do in general


i would aim v steadily and when we finished i would say, “hehe thank u for ur consent”


then if u told me ur ideal date involved me and u watching the 5th element and masturbating in separate rooms i would do that w u


and if ur ideal date involved me and u and both our parents sitting in the front pew of the local church just steady vaping i would do that w u 2


im such a fuck up sometimes i truly don’t know how i get anything done but i want to hold ur hand at a party in a way that we both giggle and smile knowing how good everything will feel when we go home


what if the sexiest thing ppl culd do was to plug their iPhones into each other’s computers then say, “im in lol”


the thing about people is that they’re fucked but it’s only because they’re human


the thing about you is that ur beautiful and fucked like all humans are beautiful and fucked


and the thing about me is that i am 2