Andrew Blair

Advertising Possibilities

The billboard

That faces down my street
Has been blank and the hum drum for weeks
A rectangle,
pale, into significance
This widescreen void
of content
This moonlighting, beckoning stranger persists perhaps
this is still
an advert?

who would advertise

I have spoken to a Priest.
He says they do not publicise purgatory
Though I can buy shares

I have spoken to a White Supremacist
He says that the spelling
Is too good for it to be theirs

Such are the wonders of Private School education

I have spoken to a policeman
He considered arresting the billboard
for loitering
Then decided it had the right sort
of white background

I have spoken to a geek
She says she has received abuse online
For saying the advert shouldn’t be entirely white

They said she just loved the sound of her own voice.

I have spoken to a Customer Service Advisor for Tipp-Ex
She says their new campaign was cancelled
Because someone spotted a misprint on it

I have spoken to a salesman from Dulux
They said this was just the same joke as the Tipp-Ex one.

I have spoken to a Nihilist
She said it doesn’t mean anything
Of course you want to believe in it

Cheers Mum.

I have spoken to an advertiser
He said it was potential
A rescue flare
An exam
It was not merely promotion

I have spoken to a poet
It said an advert was anything I wanted it to be
A subject
Fit to verse
A canvas
A healing wound, hope that sustains creation
It was not merely promotion

Then the poet asked me
to like their Facebook Page.

Andrew Blair is a writer and performer based in Edinburgh, with credits in Valve Journal, New Writing Dundee and the Auld Enemies tour. Along with Ross McCleary he won a PBH Audience Award at the 2014 Edinburgh Fringe, and runs the night Poets Against Humanity – dedicated to the destruction of poetry.